I'm back in Leeds now, with the year officially kicking off tomorrow. What a ride hey!! My fourth and final year at Leeds University has arrived and actually I'm quite looking forward to it. I honestly feel like the Netherlands has taught me so many invaluable lessons to be thinking about this year and further ahead; so in a similar format to 10 things I learned in my first 10 days - these are 10 things I learned in 10 months.
1. It's okay not to be okay
Buzz phrase of the decade, I know. But it's absolutely true and I will carry on repeating it until people start believing and remembering it. It's absolutely no secret that I had huge mental and emotional struggles during my year abroad, it could hardly be a secret anyway when I decide to write them out and post them on the world wide web... Anyway, there were troughs during my year, (big ones!) but there were also many, many peaks too. I completely surpassed my own expectation of my resilience, independence and ability to take on new challenges. What will stick out most for me this year was that it was the year I took my mental health into my own hands and by opening myself up to the more difficult aspects of life and emotions, talking to family, friends and professionals was an extremely empowering and defining moment.
2. Take pride in the moments that earn it
You're allowed, in fact it's positively encouraged to take pride in your achievements. However, there is a fine line between being proud of yourself and arrogance, I feel. I went through a period of time feeling like everything I did wasn't good enough, but this year I experienced that small smiley feeling after achieving something I wasn't expecting and I really enjoyed those moments, instead of finding something negative to improve upon. There will be plenty of time for that afterwards!
3. The importance of time alone
This was a complete revelation for me during my year away and something I was neither happy or comfortable doing before moving abroad. Spending time on my own became such a luxury, finding time to read, write or watch a new film helped me to work through any anxious or difficult thoughts and find ways of navigating my own emotions.
4. People care
Well the good ones do anyway... True friends will be at your side (physically or metaphorically) in both bad and good moments. I guess this can relate to my first point - when people care, they won't mind knowing you're not okay and will do what they can to reassure you. Similarly, they'll also celebrate with you the achievements and successes as if they are their own.
5. Time in nature is a natural form of medicine
I remember during the winter months when I started going for walks in the morning as I'd heard it was a good way to reduce anxiety. I think at first I was very dubious about this and I'll tell you for why. Just imagine me, puffer jacket, hood tied up tight around my face with just a hole to see, rain hammering down, wind battering me any which way... it's not the picture of perfection really. Although at the time I was thinking why the hell am I doing this?!? It may have helped reduced my anxiety levels and now I do love taking a walk by myself. One thing's for certain, it most definitely made me more weatherproof.
Oh and when the sun did come out, that really was the perfect start to a day.
6. Saying no
Learning to say no for the sake of self-care (millennial buzzword #2) is SO important. We aren't robots guys and can't just do everything in order to try and appear like we're #productive #smashinglife!!! Finding balance is hard but the consequences of overloading yourself are detrimental to your mental health. Do the things which make you feel energised and excited, not drained and half-human.
7. Beer
Having a beer with your friends after a long day is a priceless pastime (preferably in the sun. but I'm not fussy) and luckily in the Netherlands they have some quite yummy beer.
8. Family is a beautiful thing
As Lilo said, 'family means nobody gets left behind'. My year abroad brought me closer to my family in a way I didn't think was possible. We seem to have all found our groove now and for that we're able to support each other far more efficiently.
9. You're more capable than you realise
9 times out of 10, you are way more capable than you give yourself credit for. For me this came in so many forms during the year in performance, linguistically, emotionally and musically. We're British after all and are probably the one of the most self-deprecating nationalities around but sometimes we just have to take the plunge and throw ourselves into a new activity or situation.
10. Life is random
My very wise mum said this to me the other day and she is spot on. Life is so random. I know this is the most vague and unspecific sentence to use but sometimes it is just important to remember that. I mean we're probably on Planet Earth by chance anyway so why should the rest of life be any different! Life is so situational, we can expect one thing but another happens, but it doesn't mean that one would have been better, because how can you know that anyway? You never experienced the other one! I originally wanted to study in Spain and I didn't expect to go to ArtEZ but now I can't imagine having been anywhere else now.
The final five months of the academic were probably five of the best of my life and despite some of my lowest times too to start off with, I wouldn't change my year abroad for the world.
Catch you again in an indefinite amount of time.
Lots of love
KB xxxxxxxx
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| Some photos of the summer post-Netherlands |
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